funny puns, one liners
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I just wish my ex-wife could look down from Heaven and see me now. Really funny one liner joke. 83.03 % / 3301 votes. At every party there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who don’t. Congratulations, you are now a genius. Here are 60 funny, clever, and oh-so-smart one-liners that are perfect for any occasion. Good One Liner Puns. 115 One-Liner Jokes As Punny As They Are Funny. We hope these short jokes and puns make you laugh. Have you seen the picture of Mount Rushmore before it was carved. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. After that, he went down hill fast. If a tree falls in the forest and no-one is around to hear it.. Then vote for your favorite one at the page end. I'm glad I know sign language, it's pretty handy. My editor told me he didn’t like my citation formatting. Congratulations, you are now a genius. If I won a million dollars, I'd give a quarter of it to charity.
You’re not fat, you’re just… easier to see. I said, “No, wait! When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body… men are so polite they only look at the covered parts. Or maybe it all started in the Middle Ages when, by a long shot, the Trebuchet was the most powerful weapon? Funny one liners. Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers. Was it The First Humans who mistakenly called the Sabertooth tiger a Lightsabertooth tiger? If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea … does that mean that one enjoys it? On the internet, you can find plenty of puns, capable of amusing, but also to try to understand the joke behind it. "Guess who I bumped into on my way to the optometrist.". The trouble is, they are usually married to each other. You agree by closing this box or continuing to use our site. A: Guardians of the Galaxy. Commit them to memory, and you'll have your friends laughing so hard they won't even remember why the conversation had lagged in the first place.. Relax, we've got your back. Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. Just saw a burglar kicking his own door in. by Team Scary Mommy. I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. I’m great at multitasking. You know why women's eyes are so noticeable these days? I got booed off stage on open mic night because of my terrible Schwarzenegger impersonation but I'm not gonna let that get to me.... What is heavier, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers? About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. This is my step ladder. And then everything crashed. My horoscope said I was going to get my heart broken in 12 years time. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. Why did the blonde give up online shopping? Clever one-liners … All funny one liners, including short jokes, clever one liners, witty one liners, corny one liners and dirty one liners. share My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. My wife used to love being called my trophy wife.
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there’s no use in two people remembering the same thing. As I taped a piranha to my boomerang, I thought. I was screwing my secretary up the butt when my wife walked in. To return Click Here.
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